Man of the Year

Well, the RKDeem Report already has a contender for the 2007 Man of the
Year Award.  Travis Henry, the Denver Broncos running back was recently
called into a Georgia courtroom to catch up on child support payments. 
Court and medical records indicate that Henry has fathered 9 children
with 9 different mothers across four states (he must have some damn
good pickup lines!).  I may try to draft him in the Fantasy Football
draft this year, if he’s that good at running from women and
responsibility, he should be pretty good at running with the football

The USA Today article where I pulled this information, goes on to say
that he has to pay one of the mothers $3,000 a month.  If you multiply
that by 9 mothers, he’s paying $27,000 a month for his kids, that is
insane.  He’s making millions of dollars and he’s flat broke.  Maybe
this is why we never see Matt Wood, I bet that crazy guy is
impregnating women and paying child support to numerous women.  Keep it
up Matt, maybe you can get the RKDeem Report Man of the Year Award in

Make Your Own Pizza Night

In another chapter packed with thrills and excitement, the Deem family held their second “Make Your Own” pizza night last night.  I have several burnt areas on the top of my mouth to show for it.  Jaclyn and her sister Laurie were really ambitious and decided to make the dough too, we learned some valuable lessons about the art of dough making, I’m trying to convince Jaclyn that we should invest our tax return into a brick fire oven.  Check out the picture below to see Winston helping out with the cooking.

In an effort to keep this blog somewhat entertaining and engaging I have purposely kept the conversation away from Fantasy Football, but I can’t help myself to slip this one time (and possibly two other times, I will explain in a moment).  Our draft is a week away and it is going to be a life changing experience.  It is not just a bunch of dudes sitting in a living rooms around a computer and eating chicken wings, this is a freaking event to end all events.  There will be drama, theme music, costumes, speeches, and god knows what else.  I will post my draft coverage on the site, I think you will find it amusing, even if you think we’re in the same category as kids who play Dungeons & Dragons.  My Fantasy Football team is Optimus Wang. 

One last thing, my office is really boring, I haven’t put anything on the walls and it really doesn’t have a theme.  Any suggestions on how I should decorate?

Beauty & the Beast

Well, this vacation has been incredibly busy.  Thursday we hit up the 4-H fair and documented it on my last entry.  On Friday, Jaclyn went to work and Winston and I hung around Frenchtown, we appropriately met Jaclyn at TGI Friday’s after she was done with work.  I had the Jack Daniels burger, thankfully, it didn’t taste anything like Jack Daniels. 

Early Saturday morning, Jaclyn went to Washington DC for a bridal shower and left me standing in the living room with Winston.  My vacation took a dramatic turn, instead of watching Super Bad, going to the bars, and fishing the river, I was confined to activities that entertained the little guy. 

This was me:

This was Jaclyn on her posh weekend retreat with the ladies (they made the male strippers hide in the closet for the picture):

After about 45 minutes of hanging out, Winston and I were in need of extra help.  I transported him to my parent’s house and the collective effort of 4 adults (my mom, dad, sister, and myself) were able to keep Winston about half as happy as he is with his mother.  I’ve always appreciated Jaclyn’s help with Winston, but after the past 4 days, she definitely deserves a lifetime of fabulous mother’s day gifts.

The Bulldogs had a softball practice on Sunday, I got a good feeling about us, I think we’re heading back to the championships this Fall.


The vacation kicked into high gear after watching the show Cheaters.  I’ll let the pictures speak for themselves.

Winston picking out his outfit

We headed to the 4-H fair, we got there in time to see the goats getting judged

Jaclyn’s favorite 4-H moment was the pig races

Petting zoo!

Winston reaches out to the goat

Winston drives us home

Birthday Girl!

It was my sister’s birthday yesterday.  Since I’m the greatest older brother ever, I took a lot of time and effort and put together a birthday text message for her.  I am sure the receipt of the text message made her birthday extra special.

My vacation is in full swing, I’m in my boxer shorts in the living room watching the show Cheaters on channel 17.  For those of you who haven’t seen it, a boyfriend or girlfriend suspect their significant other is cheating so they contact the show Cheaters to investigate.  The show’s climax is when they confront their significant other when they are caught in the act of cheating, it leads to some exciting confrontations.  If this show was already a huge service to the community, they go the extra mile and offer an online dating service too.  Frequent watchers of Cheaters are encouraged to log onto and meet local singles who also watch Cheaters.  My gut tells me that this site would be an ideal place for singles to meet.  If I didn’t meet Jaclyn at the fish market, I am sure I would have met her on that website.

Here’s a picture of the birthday girl, and apparently, she actually reads this blog, so make sure you wish her a happy birthday!

3 Men & A Baby

Today’s my last full day of work this week.  Tomorrow, I am giving a new client orientation and then I’m out the door at noon.  I’ll be hanging out with my wingman Winston for the rest of the week.  I don’t plan on getting into too much trouble on my little vacation, but Winston and I may go into Philadelphia and do a little shopping.

Jaclyn won’t be around this weekend, so Winston and I will have the bachelor pad all to ourselves!  I’m hoping that some of my guy friends come over and play Madden or watch The Departed.  Hopefully, it will be three men and a baby, like the movie that had that creepy ghost in the window because the film was shot where a man killed himself.  Here’s a pic from the movie.

Tying Up Loose Ends

Yay, it’s Monday!

I found something wonderful out on Sunday, if you Google “rkdeemreport” this site comes up!  That didn’t happen for the first couple of weeks that the site’s been up.  If you Google “Robert Deem” the site doesn’t come up (yet!).  I feel that Google will help draw in billions of visitors every day.

Speaking of billions of visitors, The RKDeemReport creeped over 100 site visits over the weekend!  I think 97 of them were from me checking on different computers. 

For those of you who have been reading the blog and are curious to know how the Bulldogs softball team was coming to terms in the wake of the big scandal, we’re back on track and have recruited 3 replacements.  Hopefully, one of the replacements will be really bad so we can blame our poor performance on them. 

My Madden skills have lead me to 3 wins and no losses in my Madden franchise.  I still think I am way behind on my training for my “September to Remember” competition where I compete against players from around the world online.  I have no guaranteed money plays that will get me a first down in short, middle, or long yardage situations.  I have decided to be the Chargers.

My weekend was pretty low key, Friday night I passed out around 9 o’clock because I was so wiped out from the concert on the previous night.  Saturday, I spent $1,000 on my car.  I had to get a new timing belt, it wasn’t broken, they said that I should get one now because if it broke, my car would incur serious damage.  Then they told me I needed some temperature thing and some type of gasket.  It was awful, spending $1,000 and the car operates exactly the same, it just has less of a chance of breaking down.  If you spend $1,000 on your car, I expect Nightrider modifications, I want this thing to talk to me and respond to voice activated commands. 

That’s it for now.

Yeah, Yeah, Yeahs

My blog’s notoriety is already paying dividends.  Yesterday afternoon, a faithful reader offered me a ticket to see the Yeah, Yeah, Yeahs in concert.  I love the Yeah, Yeah, Yeahs and especially their lead singer Karen O.  For those of you who don’t know Karen O, she makes Joan Jett look like Carry underwood, she makes the Sex Pistols look like Hanson, she makes Jay Matthews look like Jay Matthews.

I met the gentleman who was providing the concert ticket at his residence in Willow Grove, he has asked to be referred to as “The Edman”.  The Edman packed a nice cooler filled with alcoholic and non-alcoholic beverages so we could relax in the parking lot before the show and he could ask me questions about my blog and how I came to be such a prolific writer.  An hour later, we arrived at the parking lot outside the Electric Factory and the Edman realized he left the cooler at the parking lot of his residence in Willow Grove. 

The concert was spectacular.  The Yeah, Yeah, Yeahs played music from both of their albums and she went full throttle the entire time.  Stomping, screaming, jumping, and writhing, she was so full of emotion, it was like drinking from a fire hose.  I think my favorite performance was “A Date With the Night”. 

It was a great concert and I feel good knowing that I made one of my biggest fan’s dreams come true.

Madden 08

I only played one game last night, so my review isn’t very comprehensive.  I’m just going to list my first impressions.

The Good:

  1. The physics of players and their collisions are much improved.  The size of your player, the angle they are running, and how fast they are running will all contribute to what happens when players collide.  It is not a canned animation, it’s completely different every play.
  2. Running backs squeeze through small holes in your offensive line.  It was irritating before when your running back would run an off tackle and just run in place because the right tackle was gridlocked with a defender.  Now, your running back will hit the offensive tackle and push him forward or turn his body to fit through the small hole.  It makes short yardage running downs a lot more realistic and exciting.
  3. This game is deep.  This could be good or bad, I’m not sure, but the instruction book is much thicker and detailed then ever, in every situation you have buttons that do something different.  It’s no longer, dive, spin, and jump.  There’s 8 buttons for a receiver, there’s 8 buttons for a defensive tackle, there’s 8 buttons for a running back (including covering the ball), it’s really complicated.  Of course, you can just play with the basic buttons, but if you’re a super geek who puts his time in (which I want to become), you can separate yourself from the noobs.

The Bad:

  1. The announcer.  Holy smokes, this announcer is horrible.  It’s John Madden Football and he doesn’t offer any in-game commentary.  What you get is a no name radio announcer who is made to sound like he’s broadcasting through a radio.  It’s low fidelity and sounds like you’re listening to the game with a box on your head.  It sucks.  The graphics and gameplay are great and then you have to listen to the most horribly boring announcer, I will never buy a Madden game again until they change that announcer.
  2. No canned animations.  I love how the physics of the game determine the tackles and the fluid motion of the players, but every once and awhile, I want to see a close up zany animation.  I know we saw it a billion times, but who didn’t love the hi-five scene in Tecmo Bowl.  Bring back some canned animations to pump you up.  The reason they stopped doing this is because the internet updates the rosters so it’s hard to do a canned animation when the same player might get injured or traded.

I played one game last night, I was the Chargers, I played against the Patriots.  I won 34 to 20 (I blocked an extra point).  It was very difficult and I need to learn half the buttons.  Tom Brady was dominating, I couldn’t slow him or his offense down.  I liked the Chargers, but they play with a 3-4 defense that I’m not to fond of. 

Okay, this post is boring me now.  I will keep you posted as I train to be the greatest.

I’m Buying Madden Today & Office Hijinks

I’m buying Maddeon 08 for the Xbox 360 today.  My plan of action is to train for the balance of August and then take my game online and dominate the rest of the world in September.  I’m still deciding what team I should be, I’m attracted to the high power offenses of the Saints and the Colts, but they lack a real strong tight end, I believe that the tight end is crucial for success.  San Diego has a dominating tight end and a fabulous running back, but I’m not sold on their receivers.  I think the Eagles has a well balanced offense and defense, with a decent option at tight end.  Right now, I’m leaning towards the Chargers, Patriots, or Eagles.  I know these are all amazing teams, but when you’re facing the world, you have to compete with a great team, I’m no longer facing chumps like Jay Matthews and Mike Moosbrugger.

The Traffic Coordinator on my account at work left for vacation.  The team created a mythical battle between US soldiers and dinosaurs on her desk in her absence.  I took some photos.

Here’s a shot showing all the action

A closeup of the intense warfare

What’s that in the background?