This is something that has really annoyed me for a long time. At my place of employment, there are four floors, each floor occupied by a different company, each floor has it’s own set of restrooms, please take a look at the diagram:
Well, the problem is, I work on the first floor and I’m noticing a lot of people from other floors using our restrooms, in particular, to poop. I think the psychology behind this is that they do not want to emit their fecal odor on their own particular floor where their colleagues would possibly smell it and go back into the office and mention how foul smelling his or her poop was in the restroom. They play it safe, they travel to another floor to deposit their load and anyone who happens to smell it will be from a completely company or department.
I’m sick of it. I’m dying to have an intervention, I just want to say, “Listen chief, when you’re doing this kind of business, do it on your own floor.” The only way that this journeyman pooping would be acceptable, would be if people from my floor were traveling to higher floors to poop, and I don’t think that’s the case. I think we have a higher proportion of number 2’s on floor 1.
I encourage people to stay in their territory when they have to go to the bathroom, walk right into the bathroom like you are on a mission, be confident, acknowledge other people in the bathroom and choose your stall carefully. Remember, there’s no reason to be ashamed, you are the man, you will own this bathroom.
How to choose the stall:
1. Pick the furthest stall from the bathroom entrance. This keeps you focused on the task at hand, there’s less of a chance for interruptions and distractions, it’s your own sanctuary.
2. If the furthest stall is taken, leave the stall open next to the furthest and take the third stall from the end. You want a buffer, you don’t want any Senator Craig stuff going on and you don’t want to hear every detail of your comrade’s gastro intestinal adventure. Give yourself a little space.
3. If you walk into the bathroom and every other stall is occupied, then you immediately need to head over to the urinals, fake pee and leave. I’ve seen people wash their face and fly a holding pattern, but that’s weird because you have to inherit the throne while it’s still warm. In these cases, I’d allow a migration to a different floor.