I’m not going to get into all the details, but I have a lot of stuff going on in my life. I just want to say two things about this:
- I am trying very hard. I really believe that if you try your hardest, even if you fail, it’s not the end of the world. You learn from these trials and you cannot blame yourself, because you did everything you could. I feel pretty confident that I try very hard in a lot that I do.
- I am really appreciative for my family. It is wonderful to know that no matter how crazy things get, you have people in your corner, you have people who will stand up for you, give you a lift when you need it. I really feel fortunate to have such a wonderful family and an amazing wife.
I know the above section was abbreviated and somewhat cryptic, but it’s too long of a story otherwise. In the end, it comes down to the two points above.
On to more interesting things. I want to say that I have no beef with anyone. I can’t think of a single person that I hate or that I wish bad things upon. Lately, when I put my headphones on and chat with people playing on Xbox Live, I come across a ton of people who say incredibly ignorant things. I think it’s only about 10% of the population that says these things, but they are always the loudest and you remember them because they are saying racist and ignorant crap. I hate this, but my power to actually do anything to punish these individuals in limited. I typically file a complaint and if they have enough complaints filed against them, they get banned from the online service.
I know that many people in other countries hate Americans even though they don’t know many individual Americans. So, I try to be extra nice to people who appear foreign, especially if someone is foreign and wearing a turban. A lot of times, when I’m at the gas station and an attendant with a turban walks up to my car, I try to be the most polite and happy American this man has ever encountered. It’s my small part for world peace.
But here’s the deal, I wonder if I do it because I am scared that he hates Americans and he could potentially be plotting something evil and that my brief and friendly encounter will make him reconsider, or do I do it because I want everyone in the world to be happier and friendlier. I honestly think I want people to just be happier.
Going to school at Temple, I had to walk from the train station into campus. You had to walk about 3 blocks through some really rough neighborhoods. There were little phone booth style security centers, a police office would sit in the little booth and make sure no students got attacked on their walk to campus. I remember getting a lot of verbal and non-verbal encouragement to stay out of the neighborhood. In fact, there was a Folger’s billboard that had, “Fuck you white Temple Students – Stay Out of Our Neighborhood!” spray painted on it. I think a lot about that neighborhood, I wonder what I can or could have done to make us understand each other better.
Winston is starting to copy a lot of the things that I do. If I drink from a big plastic cup, he needs to drink from a big plastic cup, if I bang the beat of a song onto the table, he starts banging on the table. It amazing to have someone look up to you, but it’s also a tremendous responsibility. I hope Winston grows up in a world where’s there’s a little less fear and hatred.