Coffin, Cremation, or Cryogenically Frozen?

Here’s my take on each option:

Coffin – You’re put into a protective case that helps slow your deteriation and ultimate return to the Earth 
Cremation – Expedites the natural progression of deteriation and returns you to the Earth immediately
Cryogenically Frozen – Really delays your deteriation, but it doesn’t seem like an exact science, I personally don”t trust the technology yet (freezer burn, freezers malfunctioning, etc.)

When it’s listed out, it seems like Cremation is the way to go, you won’t take up space in a cemetary and you’re immediately a part of life’s amazing cycle, but how terrible would it be if you found out after you were dead that it was a really a bad idea to have your body burned.  Like, the concierge in Heaven was like, okay dude, what’s going on with your little cloud like appearance, don’t tell me your family went ahead and got you cremated.  Hopefully, Heaven will have that all squared away, like you could borrow someone’s body or create your own.  I’d make myself look like Yoda. 

No matter what, there probably won’t be a Vladimir Lenin option for me where I’m enclosed in glass and everyone can check me out.  I don’t think I’d select that option though, I don’t want to be confined when I die, I think it would be cool to be returned immediately to Earth, maybe right into the Delaware River.  I could be reunited with my wedding band that I lost on a fishing trip and I could be part of the Smallmouth Bass people are catching and the wild flowers on the river banks. 

After thinking about this, I am finally going to become an Organ Donor, but if I show up in Heaven without eyes and the concierge rips me for being eyeless, I will be very annoyed. 

One thought on “Coffin, Cremation, or Cryogenically Frozen?

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