In the Company of Women

Howdy Cowpokes.

Friday night I jumped into my wife’s Hyundai Santa Fe SUV along with her sister and friend Melissa.  Within 10 minutes, I was neck deep in discussion around old episodes of Sex & the City.  It did not take long before I realized that I was just an atrophied extension of a girl’s night out, but good music and good food was in the equation, so I sat happily listening to a Mix CD while the girls debated Samantha’s contribution to the show.  We needed to determine a place to stop for our tailgating food, a quick vote determined Panera Bread was the best option. 

We got to the Wachovia Center parking lot and we enjoyed the food, Jaclyn even made cupcakes to celebrate Laurie’s birthday  An added bonus to Jaclyn’s pregnancy is that she makes one hell of a designated driver.  Melissa, Laurie, and I kicked a bottle of Jose Cuervo making unusual tasting Margaritas, one of which, I spilled all over the side of Jaclyn’s car. 

Tom Petty’s concert was exactly what you would expect.  Great song after great song, you’ve heard them a million times, but through the conduits of alcohol, thirty thousand people all feel the notes, sing along, and in at the very best moments, it was just a chorus of happiness. 

Saturday morning we headed to DC for a graduation party.  They had some blank pieces of paper where you were supposed to offer some advice, I wrote the following:

“Show up to all your classes and you’ll be fine.”

On Sunday, we went to visit Jaclyn’s friends’ new home.  Krissy and Don have bought a beautiful townhome in DC.  It made me happy to see two people completely excited about something, I’d be excited too, it’s a beautiful home in a great place. 

Tom Petty – every seat was filled

Laurie and Melissa – Free Falling

Jaclyn in Krissy and Don’s new home

Recent Police Video – Who Hit Grandpa and Why Isn’t Anyone Helping?

I’m getting ready to see Tom Petty.  I’ll let you know how it is, but we’ll tailgate and I think I know all his songs by heart, so it should be a great time.

Here’s an interesting video, it was shot this week, it’s priceless without any sound, a surveillance video.  It’s like an alien is spying on humans and they just wanted this final piece of evidence before they blow up our planet.




For some reason, the video reminded me of this old Dean Martin song


I Give Barack Obama Some Credit – Bad Names

After the last presidential election, which was about who remembered 9/11 more, I would have never guessed a dude named Barack Hussein Obama would have ever been the Democrat’s next presidential candidate.  Talk about overcoming some odds?  Poor guy, Obama sounds a hell of a lot like Osama and then you add in Hussein and you have a real nice terroristic sounding name in the midst of a country filled with fear.  And he freaking won, he beat Hillary, the ghost of the good old days, the days of surplus, saxophone playing on late night talk shows, an age before war.  He beat her in the presidential election, that’s pretty amazing.  I’m not endorsing anyone, but I do give him credit, he won an election with a combination of names that rival the worst of them. 

I do want to say this, there’s a lot of fake crap that gets sent around over chain e-mails, stuff about him being a Muslim and how he’s secretly a terrorist, I just hope you do some follow-up research to find out the truth about the guy before you go on believing it.  Again, I don’t endorse him, but I hope everyone’s votes are based on good information, not forwarded e-mails.

Speaking of bad names, how about Magic Johnson?  I am sure many x-rated super heros have been disappointed to learn that their name has been taken by a former basketball player with AIDS.  I started to think that I am being too hard on the guy, he can’t help having the last name Johnson, but Michael Jordan didn’t need a nickname.  I propose we start calling the guy his real name, Earvin Johnson.  Maybe people with the last name of Johnson are destined to have horrible nicknames, just look at major league baseball player Randy Johnson, he tried to escape the whole Johnson thing, but ended up with a nickname just as terrible, “The Big Unit”, which has to do with his 6’10” frame, I guess.  

I researched why Johnson is often associated with men’s genitalia and I found the most awesome explanation:

Former US president Lyndon B Johnson was very well endowed, and was an exhibitionist.

He liked to expose himself, not so much for sexual gratification, but as a power play. Other men would be intimidated by the size of it.

He would also use it against people who he felt were too stuffy or uptight- such as holding meetings in the
bathroom while he sat on the toilet.

Guess what’s behind the book!

Rubbing Alcohol

I got a call from Jaclyn today:

Jaclyn:  I have some good news and some bad news. 
Me:  Ok
Jaclyn:  The good news is that I got most of it off.  The bad news is that Winston drew all over your new flat screen TV with a Sharpie permanent marker.
Me:  Ok

Kids are really crazy, they can really test your patience.  I am not mad, I never raised my voice, you just accept it, you have no other choice.  Moving on, I’ll try to keep Sharpie’s away from him, but he’ll just find something else to get into, it’s impossible to anticipate all the ways Winston can disrupt a nice and peaceful household.  To be honest, I wouldn’t have it any other way, he’s a boy who’s constantly exploring and trying new things, I am sure this will end up being pretty minor of the scale of crazy stuff he ends up doing.  I researched permanent marker on LCD screens and found a surprising amount of information.  They all said rubbing alcohol is the best, but the TV’s manual said not to use it.  I used it anyway, nothing else was working.  The rubbing alcohol worked amazingly well and the screen looks as good as new.  I’ll let you know if that changes in the future (I’ll add a comment to this specific blog entry so that anyone who is stuck in a similar predicament can get immediate resolution). 

Kids are a crazy rite of passage, they haze the hell out of you.  You have to clean up their shit (literally), you have to make them the priority in everything you do, you have to fully commit yourself.  A lot of my friends are on the fence about this whole proposition, could a kid actually be worth that kind of sacrifice?  All I can say is, it depends.  Like I was saying the other day, everyone loves kids.  They are a beautifully clean slate and you pour everything you can onto it, you try to show them your favorite places, play them the best music, and teach them what you’ve learned, it’s like planting a garden of all your favorite things.  I love seeing his love for music bloom, he throws the ball to me, he says “Momma” with such affection, he brings incredible happiness to my life.  I’m not just saying that because I got the TV clean!

My leg still bothers me, but it’s looking much better.  The texture looks and feels similar to a football.
 

Here’s a picture of the Neshaminy Topless Bar and Hotel.  I took it while stopped at a traffic light.  If there’s anyone out there who wants to do a investigative report for me, I’d consider paying your costs to stay in this hotel for one night, in return I want as many weird details that you can provide me.  It will be ground-breaking journalism.


Winston can hang from things without the aid of others, by the way, the skinny guy in the back is Jaclyn’s brother Matt


Drunk driver crashed into bicycle race.  10 people were injured, but no one died. 


You’re Okay Dad

I was driving home from work and the car in front of me had a vanity license plate that said:

UROKDAD

I thought, “Wow, this father really must of been on some shaky ground with his family if they ponied up to buy him a license plate that says, ‘You’re Okay Dad’.  I wondered if he was once an alcoholic or if he is constantly doubting his abilities as a father.  I concluded that it was very nice of his family to let him know that he is okay, it hasn’t been easy, but they pulled together and all in all, he’s done well.”

The more I thought about it, I started to think that it was actually kind of crappy for his family to get a license plate that said he was just okay.  Then I reread it again and realized that if you break it up differently, it is a much more positive license plate. 

One more commuter thought of the week.  I was driving down a stretch of 611 where it’s 4 lanes.  A school bus turned on its flashing lights and stopped to drop off kids.  All 4 lanes of traffic stopped and I don’t think they stopped because its the law, I think they stopped because everyone loves kids.  I’ve discovered the brightest aspects of humanity since Winston became my wingman.  Everyone helps him, loves him, watches out for him, and owns a little piece of his development.  People just love kids.  This made me think, when do people start hating people?  Everyone loves the kids, but eventually, people start hating each other, it’s pretty amazing to think about how we get older and lose that loving spirit. 

DOYLESTOWN – We’re moved in!!!

Thank you Deem and Fellman family for all your help moving, it would have been impossible without you. 

It’s strange being back in Doylestown, the town is alive and with this beautiful weather, people are eating on the sidewalks, musics spills out the bars, and the shops are buzzing with activity.  I love the town, I love seeing old neighbors, running into friends, and being so close to everything. 

Leg Update – I can’t find the camera, otherwise, I’d post a picture of it.  I’m really impressed with it’s progress, but it still looks nasty and if it brushes against something, I fall to the floor in pain.