I’m All Jacked Up On Mountain Dew!

Rivalry #17

Best Party Town
– New Orleans vs. Las Vegas
Does anyone remember being a freshmen in college, Friday nights, getting your party outfit on, and heading down to the frat houses for a big ol’ kegger?  There was usually a couple guys on the front porch on the lookout, some places were so sophisticated that they employed police scanners and asked sly questions to ensure you weren’t a cop, like, “Are you a cop?”.  If you were smart enough to say “No”, you would move inside where you handed a dude $5 and in exchange received a plastic cup to drink out of for the balance of the night.  The partying went on downstairs in the basement, it was dark, it was dirty, and we wouldn’t of had it any other way.  Dozens of kids crammed themselves into these dark quarters, bass booming from speakers hanging from the ceiling, and kegs of the nastiest beer you could imagine.  Good times.  

Once you turn 21, you have the priviledge to come out of the caves and into a world of high priced beers, bottle service, and if you haven’t wasted enough money on yardstick beers and Jager bombs, you can walk even gamble it away quicker. 

There’s dozens of amazing party towns around the US and Mexico, but I picked these two because of the contrast.  One that is not up for consideration, because I love it too much, is Key West.  But Key West doesn’t really fit into a category, it’s beautiful, it’s a destination in itself, it doesn’t really need the party to be amazing, while New Orleans and Las Vegas are built on the foundations of booze and gambling. 

Las Vegas is a sight to see, there’s some really unusual buildings, some shaped like pyramids, some shaped like Paris, some shaped like New York, but you sort of think, it’s just a lame little Disney park depiction of them and once you enter any of them, they all look and sound the same.  Filled with slots, tables, and whistles and bells, you quickly fall into a haze and desparately need a drink.  The bartenders are beautiful and talented.  The clubs go all out, they do everything they can to impress you, they even pay celebrities to hang out at their clubs to give them some cred.  I think you can already see who’s going to win this rivalry. 

New Orleans has something that Vegas doesn’t, it has lots and lots of character.  Instead of being created and torn down every 20 years, New Orleans has some beautiful history and architecture that has withstood many storms and many, many styles and tastes over the years.  It also has fantastic music, usually pouring out of every bar, and incredible food that no place in the world can duplicate.  You can get drunk, in fact, you will get drunk.  But the key with New Orleans, it that you have plenty of things to do while you are not drinking.  The bars try to lure you in with 2 for 1 specials during the morning and afternoons, but hold out, grab a great meal, check out the local markets, go on a tour of the French Quarter, ride the streetcar named desire. 

New Orleans might inject a little soul into you and it wins the rivalry for it. 

RKDeem’s 17th Greatest Band
Louis Prima
– This dude and his band were out of control awesome.  You’re heard Jump, Jive, and Wail at the Olive Garden, you’ve heard Sing, Sing, Sing, you’ve heard Pennies From Heaven, but you never realized how good this dude was at performing.  Dig a little deeper into his greatest hits and listen to Buena Sera or Oh Marie, these songs climax with blazing horns and thrashing cymbals, you can’t help but feel yourself go a little wild with the music.  By the way, Louis Prima was from New Orleans and you can definitely hear it in his sound.  My standout track is one that I just found recently and I get a real kick out of it – I’ll Be Glad When You’re Dead, You Rascal You

3 thoughts on “I’m All Jacked Up On Mountain Dew!

  1. your college sounds great. let me tell you about Pitt. friday evening we spend 2 hours following the whispers of a possible party that will allow us in. then we go as a pack following a person that doesn’t really know the address but knows it’s “somewhere around here.”ok, so we find the place after taking 3 times the amount of time it should take to get there. what happens? oh, only frat members allowed and girls. great. sometimes it was girls or guys that brought a full case of beer, which if i could acquire a full case of beer i would have stayed home and drank with my friends instead of begging some fat guy with a dirty Penn State Sucks t-shirt on to let me in to his sacred bull shit party. he was the “bouncer” and thats why they let him join the frat, the annoying fat guy. hey you can always make him feel important by letting him man the door and that way you get him out of your hair for the evening and he won’t gross out all the girls dancing by shoving his fat rolls in their face and spewing pizza juice all over them.so then we walk through the streets going to any house that looks like it might be having a party. yeah, this tactic didn’t work too well at Pitt. so i leave and go home at like 10 pm when the rest of the guys walk around and follow these leads for a few more hours before finally scoring some alcohol at around 1 am. sometimes this consisted of going to someone’s house they knew to say hi and then actually stealing a bottle liquor from the kitchen.ok, so a couple of times we actually make it in to said parties. why? because it was the loser frat where they let in all of the outcasts turned down by other frats. so we have the guy that is 4 foot 10 running the show. we have the tall skinny indian guy that wears aviator glasses inside the dark basement and a bunch of random tools sitting around their living room watching the happless Pirates get their butts beat 10-2. so they let 5 of us guys in to their basement to play beer pong by ourselves while the frat brothers stay upstairs. no girls. once they get drunk enough they invite us upstairs to play beer pong with them. we make nice with Indian guy. All the while Puff Daddy plays in the background. Matt wood pukes in a cup and we leave. thats just the night life. i won’t even begin to get in to the rest of the shit college that place is. F U Rob. And F everybody associated with Pitt. (insert joke here about Pitt rhyming with Sh*t)

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  2. Wow, Bloomsburg was very welcoming with their parties, there was a lot of competition for business and it was a very lucrative enterprise. In fact, we would host parties that would receive around $500 in donations, that was usually invested into more kegs (Bloomsburg had a distributor that delivered beer to your apartment). Unfortunately, a newspaper article was published about these parties and we were promptly evicted. The other factor in making Bloomsburg a hige party school is that the frat houses had no intention of being a nice place to live in. These houses were disgusting, soaked with spilled beers, destroyed toilets, and some just covered their floor with hay. Not surprisingly, several houses caught fire and several students lost their lives. I had a lot of fun there, but now that I’m a parent, I hope it’s cleaned up a little. They took a small step forward by evicting me!

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  3. By the way, it’s 5:30AM and I am on my way to Atlanta, so no blog until late this afternoon (at the earliest). A quick update though, Jay and Jen’s wedding was a huge success and a beautiful event. It was the best to see all my friends so happy.

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