History of RKDeem – Goodbye Twenties

(note: written a few days before my actual birthday – October 7th) 
 
1998 – Twenty year old RKDeem is living in a huge off-campus house in
Bloomsburg, Pennsylvania. The house was a block off campus down a
monstrous hill. I was one of the few Sophomores who managed to get
off-campus housing and my roommates were all over 21. To make a long
story short, we were all evicted for throwing elaborate parties and
eventually being exposed by undercover newspaper reporters. 
 
1999 – I assembled a crazy group of friends at Bloomsburg in my
Sophomore party house. Before the eviction in 1998, I had agreed to
live with all of these crazy guys in 1999. I was twenty-one and allowed
to drink, but because of frequent disturbances, the town of Bloomsburg
instituted a “3-strike you’re out policy”. If the police showed up at
your house 3 times, you would be evicted. I was a nervous wreck, my
roommates were crazy and if I got kicked out of two houses in two
years, my family would have killed me. I have some insane stories from
these years, I’ll have to write them all down. The cops had already
been called on our house 2 times at the end of the first semester. We
were on high alert, we needed to keep cool, try to keep things quiet,
we would only party at other people’s houses. Anyways, one of my
roommates goes to a party and gets really intoxicated. He walks out of
the party20and a yellow Volvo pulls up and the people inside make fun of
him. He runs up to the Volvo and kicks it. Four huge football players
exit the car and beat my roommate to a bloody pulp. I had a huge test
the next day and I was at home studying. In walks my roommate with
ripped clothing, one shoe, blood all over him, and half of his teeth
missing. I said, “Whoa, Dan – what the hell happened to you?” He
staggered back and forth, paused and then started to scream at the top
of his lungs, “I’M A WARRIOR! I’M FROM LEVITTOWN, I’M A WARRIOR!”. It
was a difficult situation to negotiate, on one hand I was really
concerned for his health, on the other, I was horrified that the cops
would be called because the next time they showed up, we’d be evicted.
He wouldn’t stop screaming about how he was a warrior, so I called the
cops and said, “My roommate got beaten up pretty bad, he’s screaming in
pain. I’m hoping you can evaluate him, file a report to hopefully catch
the perpetrators and maybe get him medical assistance if necessary.”
The cops came and said, “Oh yeah, we saw this guy, we found his other
shoe, but he refused to take it.” Luckily, Dan quieted down and we
never were evicted. 
 
2000 – Sick of hanging out in Bloomsburg, hanging out with all the
malcontents drinking kegs in gloomy baseme 
nts, I decided to move back
home and attend Temple. I worked at the Doylestown Bookshop and
Heller’s Seafood. I believe I met Jaclyn at this time. She skipped into
Heller’s with a pair of concert tickets. She was so excited, filled
with happiness, I had to meet her. 
 
2001 – Continued going to Temple, quit the bookshop and just worked at
Heller’s Seafood. On 9/11, my mom and I were watching the horrifying
events on the TV, she said I couldn’t miss class. I told her she was
crazy, but she insisted, and told me to go to school. Instead, I left
home and went to Heller’s Seafood and watched our country be attacked
on a small TV placed on a cutting board. 
 
2002 – Graduated. Got a job with Enterprise Rent-A-Car. I have nothing,
absolutely nothing positive to say about my experience with Enterprise,
it was the worst job imaginable. Forced to wear business attire while
washing and vacuuming cars in the middle of summer or the dead of
winter. I remember washing a car and the soap and water would freeze
before I could towel it off. It also didn’t help that I had to work
Saturdays and I made less money than I made at Heller’s. 
 
2003 – Got a job at Janssen Pharmaceuticals. Worked at the same company
my mom worked at, which was very cool. I got to travel, made lots more
money, and felt like I was well on my way to being a big-timer 

 
2004 – Janssen went through a restructuring process and I ended up at
another J&J company, Ortho-McNeil. Got a promotion, but continued to
make the same salary. 
 
2005 – The drug I worked on, Ultracet went generic and they pulled the
plug on all marketing efforts. I needed to find a new job, I
contemplated going into the field as a sales representative, but
decided to go to an agency, Torre Lazur McCann, instead. Jaclyn and I
finally started hanging out on a regular basis, we talked every night
and every thing was wonderful. We went to the saddest concert ever,
Bright Eyes in NYC. After the concert, no one clapped, we just felt sad
and caught a cab back to our hotel. We roamed around Times Square
looking for some late night gourmet, nothing was open, we ended up in
an impostor Euro café and snacked on some stale pastries. I moved into
Frenchtown with Dave, we fished a lot, played lots of video games, and
wasted a lot of nights at Errico’s Bar. One of my favorite moments was
when I received a surprise visit from Jaclyn, I was sitting on my
couch, watching a movie on my 65” TV and then I saw Jaclyn sprinting at
full speed by my windows, a second later, the door flung open and I got
a huge hug and kiss from my surprise visitor from Scranton. 
 
2006 – Where to begin? Jaclyn moved in with me and Dave moved out to
San Diego. A pregnancy test reveale 
d we needed to prepare for a new
roommate. We planned a magnificent wedding at Font Hill and had the
most wonderful honeymoon in Key West. In Key West, we bought some cheap
goggles and swam out into the ocean to a big pile of rocks. We dove
under water and looked into the crevices and found a big grouper
looking at us from his little cave. One of my favorite moments was on
the ride down to Key West, there’s a marina called Robbie’s and wild
tarpon (they are about as big as San Diego Dave) swim around the docks.
 They’ll sell you a bucket of herring and you can hang them over the
dock and the tarpon will jump out of the water and grab them from your
hand. I loved watching Jaclyn feed the tarpon. I remember eating almost
every meal right on the water, schools of fish would swim up and down
the docks, like little dogs begging for food.

 
2007 – We had no idea if it was going to a boy or a girl, but we found
out on January 4th. Winston joined the world and the place hasn’t been
the same since. My parents have always said I was the craziest kid
they’ve ever seen and it appears karma has run its course and we’ve
been blessed with a wild little maniac. Having a baby makes you
appreciate two things: 1. how much your parents did for you 2. sleep 
 
2008 – The year started with a dream vacation to Cabo San Lucas where I

aught my first Marlin and ate tacos and drank beer in the most perfect
taco joint ever. I’m currently sitting in a cube, quietly listening to
the Phillies radio broadcast as they take on the Brewers in a playoff
game. We have another little one on the way who should be here in time
to eat Thanksgiving Dinner with us. The last five movies I’ve seen are
The Junglebook, The Little Mermaid, Curious George, Finding Nemo, and
Baby Mama. I look back at the beginning of my twenties and see how far
I’ve come. It just shows you how life’s journey can take you anywhere
and you can’t take one day for granted. I love twenty year old Animal
House version of myself just as much as I love the life I have now. 
 
What’s next? The great thing is that I have no idea. I’ll keep working,
loving, learning, and trying to make the world a little bit better.
I’ll be spending a long weekend in the Pocono’s with some good friends
and some good beer, just relaxing and realizing how good life can be.
Happy Birthday to me.

7 thoughts on “History of RKDeem – Goodbye Twenties

  1. Happy Birthday Robert. May the next 30 years be as eventful, wonderful and beautiful with lots of love & happiness. I love you & thanks for being a great older brother. xo

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