Pulp Non-Fiction


Goldfish crackers are sold in enormous cardboard containers, this is what it looks like when the enormous container is held upside down and they’re spilled out on the floor.

Winston is gradually getting more into dressing up funny, he’s starting to like funny hats and goggles.

We went to visit Uncle Matt and Aunt Shanna in Ithaca, NY.  It was their daughter, Iona’s first birthday.  This is a pic of Iona enjoying her cupcake. 



Robert’s Story from 5:30 to 5:45PM
I am going to do my best to keep this story short.  We stayed in a nice hotel room in the center of Ithaca at the Hilton Garden Inn.  The room service menu was kind of lame, so I volunteered to walk down to an Irish restaurant to see an expanded selection and bring food back for Jaclyn and Winston.  I walk down to the restaurant’s bar (the restaurant was called Kilpatrick’s in case you were wondering) and asked for a take out menu.  I figured that I needed a beer while I decide.  I get some fish and chips for the family and an appetizer of Irish Fries (basically cheesy fries with bacon).  They tell me its going to be about 15 minutes, so I order another beer and ask about the gold labeled Jameson whisky.  The bartender tells me it’s the premium Jamesom whisky, but doesn’t like it as much as the regular whisky.  The next thing that’s happening is that I’m getting tiny samples of all the whiskys to see if I agree with her assessment.  I also watched Puerto Rico beat Panama in the World Baseball Classic.  15 minutes later, I come back buzzed and with food.  This is my story, let me tell you Jaclyn’s story that took place in the same 15 minutes.

Jaclyn’s story from 5:30 to 5:45PM:
Robert leaves to get takeout, I am in hotel room alone with the two kids.  Winston loves the hotel room and wants to explore every closet, drawer and piece of luggage we have brought.  He is turning on faucets, pulling levers, and pushing buttons, he is in his glory.  I seriously have to go to the bathroom, I set Dalia down on the bed and quickly step into the bathroom.  In the brief time I am in the bathoom, I hear something click outside, I jump to the door and realized that there was a lock on the outside of the bathroom door and Winston has just locked me into the bathroom.  The next thing I hear is the door from our hotel room, leading into the main hallway, is opening.  I begin to scream and panic, I am screaming at the top of my lungs, my son is going to be running around the hotel and I cannot get to him.  I am pounding on my door, begging for someone to let me out.  All I can think of is Winston getting picked up by some crazy person.  Then as I am about to break down the door, the handle starts to turn, I push the door open and realize I knocked poor Winston down, he had come back to free me.  I have never been so scared and panicked in my life. 

Ithaca was great, I just wish we spent more time there.  I received an iPod touch through work and I love the little apps you can download, I don’t get useful ones that provide restaurant reviews or tips to fix the dripping sink, I get the games.  My favorite so far is Kitty Cannon, you shoot a cat out of a cannon to see how far he will go. 

Quick note on Global Warming skeptics.  If you are right and you recycled, reused, and reduced it’s really not that big of a loss.  If you were right and you drove a more fuel efficient vehicle it’s still not that bad of a deal.  If you’re wrong and you did all of those things, you can have a clean conscience.  Anyways, I think its better to play it safe until we all know more.

I am really late for work, but here’s one last item that I need to share, I find it hysterical:

4 thoughts on “Pulp Non-Fiction

  1. is the bulge the fat guy’s wang, or is it the belly fat all skunched into the leotard? The glodfish picture is awesome.We had so much fun with you guys up here!

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  2. I wish we could have been up there longer, time really flew. Thank you so much for your hospitality, the food, drinks and cupcakes were all spectacular. The coconut story at the Chapterhouse was something I will remember forever. Excellent times had in Ithaca! Thank you for everything!

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