Ducks Unlimited

I was driving to work today and saw a man with a Ducks Unlimited bumper sticker.  I’ve heard of the organization, but never really thought about it before.  I started to think about a world where ducks were truly unlimited, it was a horrifying image.  Can you imagine ducks all over the place, ducks in your shower, ducks in your yard, ducks as your pets, ducks as your friends.  That’s just too much ducks.  So, what does Ducks Unlimited want?  What’s Ducks Unlimited’s agenda?  Here’s what the website had to say:

“Ducks Unlimited was founded by a group of waterfowl hunters more than 65 years ago, and today 90 percent of Ducks Unlimited members are hunters. Through the support of this sportsman constituency, Ducks Unlimited has been able to conserve more than 10 million acres of habitat across North America in the areas that are most important to ducks and geese.”

I suggest he changes his bumper sticker to say, “I love ducks so much I want to kill them!”

By the way, the quote from the website says that 90% of the member are hunters, I wonder if the 10% are planning a coup.  They probably just listen in on the meetings absolutely disgusted, maybe someday one of the non-hunting minority members will stand up and give this speech:

“Good evening my fellow lovers of ducks.  We gather here today, united in our purpose to propagate ducks to an infinite quantity.  It is this purpose, this goal we all share, that drives me to make the following proposal.  I truly believe, that we can reach our goals of having unlimited ducks faster, if we stop shooting at them.  I know this statement comes as a profound shock to many you, perhaps, 90% of you, but I know deep down, that these ducks need our help, our support, not our semi-automatic firearms perforating their beautiful feathery bodies.”   


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