Merry Christmas, You Idiot


I never would have guessed it, but I think I may be half grinch. The following things have started to really annoy me about this most wonderful time of year:

1. Santa hats on ordinary citizens, not sure why, but I think they look like idiots.
2. Charitable donation presents. At work, I’m always getting stupid cards saying that a charitable donation has been given on my behalf to some organization. Unfortunately, I have a severe distrust of all charitable organizations founded by outrageous CEO salaries. Plus, it defeats the whole purpose of gift giving and charity, if you want to give me a gift, give me something that will benefit me or if you want to give charity, just give to charity. This whole concept of giving the gift of charity is like me giving a present for my brother to my sister.
3. Christmas cards. My wife and I significantly differ on this topic. She will get a Christmas card and hang it up on the wall for a couple of months like it is a painting by Picasso. I get a card, see that someone just signed their name on a piece of paper and toss it in the trash.
4. Holiday parties at work. I love my work, but I spend a heck of a lot of time there. Around the holidays, there’s often parties in the evening and it just results in more time with work people during the holiday season. I’d like to suggest that a holiday party be a lunch time trip to the pizzeria and then everyone goes home for the day. Reason I suggest pizzeria is because the money you would have spent on a big meal can be given to people in the form of an Amex gift card for $50. Work holiday evening parties would not be as bad if you could bring your spouse.
5. Target’s Shopping Lane General. During the holidays, Target sets up a person who barks out which lanes only have one person in line. Everyone will be in lanes 7 and 10 and the Target Shopping Lane General will yell, “LANE TWO, ONLY ONE CUSTOMER!!!” Then half of the people if lanes 7 and 10 run to lane 2 and now they’ve lost their spot in the other lanes and haven’t gained ground. There has to be a more efficient system, maybe a number system.


4 thoughts on “Merry Christmas, You Idiot

  1. I did have one of those adorable red negliges with he fur trim to wear as a christmas eve present, but it came with the hat. I am glad you mentioned your distaste- Don’t worry, I returned it and will opt for the equally seasonal long-sleeved flannel nightgown.

    Like

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