Zinger


I was watching Toy Story 3 with Winston and Dalia the other night. Winston was grabbing his privates and pacing back and forth, I suggested he use the bathroom. Winston was too wrapped up in the movie to break and relieve himself, eventually I had to pee so I walked over to the bathroom and turned on the light. As I was about to pee, Winston barged in and asked to jump ahead in the queue and use the bathroom before me. I agreed, stepped out and waited for him to finish. About a minute later he said he was finished and said it was now my turn.

As I walked in, it stunk to high heaven and he left a giant turd in the toilet. I wanted to explain all the violations of social etiquette that he just committed, but I couldn’t figure where to start.

I finished Flowers For Algernon, I loved it. “Moron Genius and Mouse Go Berserk” – that’s a newspaper headline from the book, you should read it. I’ve been a reading machine lately, I think I’m going to find a used book store and dig up some more classics.

Heading to San Diego on Friday…first time ever in that city!




Watson Sucks

Hooray for Watson, the stupid computer who won in jeapordy. Is this really news? What human doesn’t already ask every fathomable question they have to The Google? We should throw Watson into a pool, let’s see how smart this dumb computer is then. Another thing that annoys me about this whole thing is that there were two of the best human jeopardy players going against Watson, the humans ended up splitting their score, leaving the computer a better chance to succeed. Brad Rutter should have laid down and allowed Ken Jennings to collect all the human points so we could have put the smackdown on Watson. By the way, Ken Jennings and Brad Rutter aren’t exactly successful in anything in life other than Jeopardy, Brad is an unemployed actor and Ken Jennings doesn’t do anything other than read comic books. Great job IBM, you’ve made a computer that can beat two human beings who’s only claim to fame is that they have computer-like memory and no real application in life.


Let’s go IBM, please go back to the drawing board and invent something useful, like a computer who can win Wheel of Fortune.

Free Tickets


I rushed home from the airport last night in hopes to take my family out to see a movie at the theater. I arrived at 6:30PM, loaded the kids into the car and headed to the 6:50PM showing of Gnomio & Juliet. We rushed into the theater and the previews began, Jac and I were bewildered to see the previews laced with profanity and inappropriate themes, the last preview was for Battle: Los Angeles and it was an epic and violent preview with terrifying music, children in the theater started crying and parents were dumbfounded. Finally the movie began and it was the new Adam Sandler movie, the projector guy loaded up the wrong film. The manager of the movie theater came in, apologized, and offered us free tickets at the movie’s conclusion! This probably makes me a bad parent, but I felt like the emotional trauma caused to my children was a small price to pay for a bunch of free movie tickets.

It is Valentine’s Day! Valentine’s Day is totally for girls, in fact, I’d say it is the female equivalent to Super Bowl Sunday, that’s probably why it comes right after the Super Bowl every year. The Super Bowl is filled with things men love, but women hate: Football, men being gluttenous, commercials with scantily clad women, beer, pyrotechnics, and fighter jet flyovers. Valentine’s Day is filled with things women love, but men seldom enjoy: Cards, communicating feelings, the color pink, flowers, romance, and perhaps an expensive dinner at a fancy restaurant. My wife and I had a great super bowl, so I hope to give her a Valentine’s Day that meets her expectations.

I finished Siddharta, excellent book, I really connected to that book and would recommend. It made me very happy that I got engaged next to the Delaware River. Did you know that my father and I both lost our wedding bands in the Delaware River (not at the same time)? I think my Dad lost his before I was born on a tubing trip and I lost mine while fishing. Siddhartha would not think that was too much of a coincidence, he believes the river is life and the river has a will of its own.

Miami was nice, I do like the way lights look in Miami, the turquiose glow through the humid nights. Philly is a cold and ugly place, but I am always so happy when I land here. I kiss my hand and slap the wall when I leave the airplane.

Happy Valentine’s Day to all, I’m going to give it the effort of the Super Bowl…minus the 50 wings, 2 cases of beer, pizza, and football, what the heck am I gonna do?



Deem Days


1. Citibank sent me an email, wants me to “friend” them on Facebook. Aren’t they the bastards who said they’d loan me money at a real low interest rate and then jacked up the rate for no reason a couple months later? Aren’t these the guys who charged you $36 if you made a payment that was one day late? Isn’t this the company who’d charge you $10 to pay them over the phone? Facebook should offer an “Anti-Friend” option or perhaps some functionality where you can declare someone your arch enemy. If that feature was available, I’d tag Citibank as my anti-friend and Independence Blue Cross will be my arch enemy. What’s the deal with companies trying to make friends when they really just want to make money.

2. The travel insanity begins tomorrow, heading to Miami. The following week Atlanta and the week after San Diego.

3. I’m trying to use fewer words.

4. Jaclyn’s going to have a birthday bash on May 21st, I’m already excited..

5. Black Joe Lewis & the Honeybears have a song coming out next week on iTunes called Booty City, it is one of the most energetic and exciting songs I’ve heard in a long time.

6. The Strokes are coming out with their first new album in 4 years, it is coming out in March. I’ve enjoyed mostly everything they’ve done and I’m hoping that them now being in their 30’s hasn’t stolen any of their fire.

7. I’m reading Siddhartha since San Diego Dave recommended. So far, it’s interesting. Much better than the other Hesse book I read right before called A Journey East.

8. Very happy that Edman is now engaged. Not to embarrass him, but his girl has turned him into a good guy, even a bit of a softy.

9. Softball season is just over a month away.

10. Jaclyn had both kids wrapped up in towels following a bath and they were on her lap like she was holding a couple of babies. I told her that might be the last time she could hold both of them like that because they’re getting too big. Not sure why, but its a little sad to see kids grow up, not sure if it relates to my own mortality, but I’m proud of the way they are getting older.


Unhappy Day


No power in the Deem house this morning. You could feel the temperatures steadily dropping this morning so Jac took the kids to her parents and I went off to warm confines of work. The weeks upon weeks of snow, compounded by today’s ice and rain, has made today one of the most unhappy days I can remember. People at work are miserable, someone is complaining that the Steelers don’t deserve to be in the Super Bowl and is citing several instances in the past when they got lucky breaks, he is calling the frauds. Another co-worker is annoyed that his self-assessment never got submitted and he needs to redo the entire thing. The lady who sits across from me is complaining about the power being out in her house and how it prohibited her from having nice hair and a good breakfast.

I think people are ready for some joy, maybe I’ll bring in bagels to work tomorrow.