Shade Chill

Everytime I buy a book at the Doylestown bookstore, they ask if I belong to their club. As Groucho Marx said (and probably made most famous by Woody Allen), “I don’t care to belong to any club that will have me as a member”.

I have a great advance for TV weather reporting. Right now, weatherman/weatherwomen report on the high, the low, and windchill (which is a calculation of temperature reduced by a factor of wind speed). I suggest we start reporting Shade Chill, what the temperature feels like if you’re in the shade and not the sun. Let’s start a movement people, we can flood the American Meteorological Society with emails begging for Shade Chill.

How awesome would it be to attend that annual meeting, you could rub elbows with John Bolaris, Hurricane Schwartz, Al Roker, and countless others. Be careful hanging with Bolaris though, did you ever read this article about him? (it is two pages long and well worth the read!)

There is a society for everything. I was reading an article about the National Association To Advance Fat Acceptance (NAAFA) slamming some actor or politician for discriminating against fat people. The NAAFA actually has an annual meeting too, on the website you can book a room for it at the Westin at the San Francisco Airport in August. I wonder if the NAAFA has major endorsements from fast food companies and candy companies. To be clear, I am not taking a position for or against the NAAFA. I won’t be joining anytime soon.

If I could join some organization, it would have to be something awesome, here’s the organizations that I would consider joining:

North American Falconers Association (

United Skeeball Association (

Nuclear Weapons Technician Association (

The Center For Association Leadership ( – who wouldn’t like an association about leading associations, it must be great to lead this association.

The Hemingway Society (
Stuntmen’s Association of Motion Pictures (

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