Sunflower Seeds & Other Stuff

I bought a bag of sunflower seeds from the grocery store the other day. Back when I played baseball all the time for the highschool, Connie Mack, and DAA teams, I used to eat hundreds of seeds every week. Some kids on the highschool team experimented with chewing tobacco and I was even forced to try it once. I pinched a little bit of it and followed the instructions of a 17 year old derelict who demonstrated by pulling out his bottom lip and inserted a clump of it between his gums and lip, as I did the same and felt the immediate sensation of many little cuts and mint flavor, I spit it out and said the whole thing was retarded. Why the heck was it cutting the me? The 17 year old said there’s fiberglass in it to make tiny cuts in your lips and gums, so that the nicotine can get into your blood stream. I remember thinking, “Do you know how crazy you sound? You bought something to cut up the inside of your month, it can ultimately give you cancer, if you accidentally swallow it, you’ll throw up, and best of all, it has absolutely no effect on you at all.” I could understand people drinking beer or wine if it resulted in cancer because some people really enjoy the relaxation that accompanies intoxication, there’s a tangible sensation that results from consuming alcohol. If you’re addicted to nicotine, I understand that you need to have it, but for someone just starting out, there’s really no benefit in trying it, but the potential downside of smelling bad and getting cancer. I hope my kids can avoid nicotine.

So I was driving home from work, which is now a pretty long drive and I’m eating sunflower seeds. I toss a handful into my mouth, taste the salty coating of the shells transition into my saliva, I use my back teeth to crack the shell, fish out the seed with my tongue, crush the seed and swallow it, spit the shell out the window. This process was going along fine, but as my car approached 75 MPH on the Turnpike, the disposal of the shells became more challenging and I feared that the car behind me would end up with shells on its windshield or I would cause an accident, I guess that’s why baseball players eat the seeds and you don’t see them prominently featured at NASCAR races.

It got me thinking about what materials are appropriate for disposal out of car windows, here’s my guidance on the issue:

Sunflower seeds – Allowed, except when traveling greater than 45 MPH

Apple core, banana peel, and orange peel – Allowed, but should only be thrown out the window in wooded areas, should not be thrown in someone’s front yard

Gum – Now Allowed. It can get stuck on someone’s shoe and I do not think it disintegrates rapidly

Cigarette Butts – Not Allowed. Not sure what they are made of, but they don’t seem to disintegrate, plus I’ve seen my curious kids pick them up and ask what they are, yuck

Paper Products – Not Allowed, unless it is money or a newspaper. Someone please ban the practice of Yellow Book deliveries too, I just pick up the phone book from the end of my driveway and throw it in the garbage, what a waste

Meat or dead animal – I can’t think of a reason why this would be a problem, try to throw it near an existing carcass if possible

3 thoughts on “Sunflower Seeds & Other Stuff

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