Gray Hairs

I practice my presentations in front of mirrors, I like to look at myself when I practice because I’m my toughest critic. I was practicing for a big presentation and I leaned forward and looked closely at the hair on my head and couldn’t believe how many little gray hairs were popping up. I think I saw about 20 of them, I wasn’t upset, in fact, I felt like each one was probably well earned. If I had to guess, some of the gray hairs were self inflicted, perhaps I may have had some excessive celebrations in my youth (or not so distant past). A couple of those gray hairs may have been from stressing over relationships. A number of those gray hairs were the result of being laid off twice, both while supporting a family. The newest gray hairs are from the hellish combination of work overload, non-stop travel, and two kids that have my DNA. I think my whole head would be filled with gray hairs if it wasn’t for Jaclyn, she’s such a calming presence, like a sunrise over the ocean.

When you’re a baby, it’s an accomplishment to just grow hair on your head. When you’re a teenager/young adult, you’re doing things that will “put hair on your chest”. Now my hair is beginning to turn gray and someday it will fall out. It is funny how hair changes with you, I am glad hair changes and not your fingernails. How gross would it be if your fingernails turned black when you got old or just started falling off when you turned 40? I’ll take gray hairs over missing fingernails. Anyways, I wanted to look back and celebrate the top 10 things I’ve accomplished or appreciated in my pre-gray hair life:

Hitting a homerun over a fence. That’s about as good of a feeling as you can imagine, hitting a pitch on the barrel of the bat and admire it as it sails over the fence. The funny thing about hitting a ball is that if don’t hit it well, it hurts your hands and the ball trickles off the bat. If you knock the laces off the ball, I swear you don’t feel a thing, it’s like a hot knife through butter, and the ball just flies off the bat with such force and velocity, the world stops and watches, it’s a rare moment in life where you receive instant happiness. A lot of the stuff on this list aren’t profound and probably shouldn’t be glorified in any way, but I find satisfaction in having known the experience of hitting a homerun.
Grilling. I love the grill, love smelling meat smoke that pours out the back of the grill. Grilling seafood from Heller’s while drinking a Coors Light is summer perfection.

Smallmouth bass fishing on the Delaware River with my father. We’d take his 14′ boat up the river, hook on a minnow called a shiner, and drift down casting into the currents for bass. I remember sunny summer days in crystal clear water, seeing a smallmouth bass cruising along rocks, leading him by10 feet with my cast, watching him approach the minnow, snap it with his mouth and watching hundreds of small scales explode from the shiner, the light catches it like a mirror ball. We’ve probably caught thousands of bass and it never got old.
I love the commerce among burn barrels in crammed streets of the Italian Market in Philadelphia, the shady dealings of knockoff merchandise in Canal Street in New York, the fresh seafood on Fisherman’s Wharf in San Francisco, the fresh microbreweries popping up in Denver, the t-shirt pushers around the White House in DC, Mystic Pizza in Mystic, CT, guacamole made at my table on River Walk in San Antonio, navigating the casual good life by gas lamps in San Diego, beignets at the French Market in New Orleans, the happiness of Wrigleyville – an economy built on baseball, the uber rich luxury in Palm Beach, the afterlife of discarded items in the Golden Nugget antique market in Lambertville, NJ. I have an appreciation for the travel I’ve done, but happiest at home in an area of the world I find most beautiful.
Graduating from college. I really think I would have been much better off if I just started working somewhere after college, but I knew that stupid piece of paper (diploma) is worth so much in this world. If I had to hire an employee right now, I would not care what grade he/she received in philosophy as a Sophomore, I don’t even care what grade they received in economics as a Senior, what is important is that they have demonstrated real life business skill. Most of my professors never actually worked a day in their life in a real business, they were boring and impractical. School and college classes were like a prison for me, just wasting time until I could do something real with my life. Not that all college was terrible, we had plenty of fun outside of class, but that’s not the point, I just wish there was an alternate path after highschool that wasn’t career limiting. Academia was an exercise of subservience & regurgitation, I’m glad I graduated and that it is in my past. If I am ever a CEO (which I have no intention of being), I will do my best to offer promising high schoolers a career path where they don’t need to pay hundreds of thousands of dollars for an education, instead I will pay them to work hard and gain valuable experience. I hope I don’t sound ungrateful about the college experience, as having that diploma was a key that unlocked many opportunities. Someday I’ll be coaxing my own children to attend a good school, but that’s because the other options are very career limiting.

Getting glasses. I was informed at an early age that my eyes weren’t up to par, I think I was giving glasses when I was in late Elementary School or very early Junior High, I remember playing baseball with them on and a couple guys on the other team made fun of me and I don’t think I wore glasses for another 15 years. As a parent, I keep my fingers crossed that my kids won’t have to endure too much teasing and I will definitely ensure that our family always abides by the Golden Rule. Getting glasses has made a huge impact on my life. First of all, driving with me is not a life threatening experience anymore. The biggest change for me is seeing things so much clearer, I’ll never forget looking at the moon for the first time after having glasses, I had no idea there was so much texture on that big shiny object.

Lucking out. Just the thought of a gorgeous girl like Jaclyn going on a date with me was on the boundaries of insanity, she is stunning, smart, caring, enjoys great music, and is fun, she could go out with any guy in the world, why would she pick me? Maybe I just timed the market right! Whatever the reason, I lucked out and there has not been a more exhilarating moment in my life as to when she planted me with a kiss on the streets of New Hope, it stunned me and I cannot think of a better moment in my life.

Good friends. I wouldn’t ever tell them, but I feel pretty lucky to have the gang. Pretty unique to have a group of friends for so long and if I write much more, I will be chided, but they are great company and great people, except Ed.

Having kids. You never fully realize how much your parents did/sacrificed for you, until you have kids of your own. Someone said to me, “When you plant corn, you get corn”. Holy cow, did we ever get some corn with Winston and Dalia, I see so much of Jac and I in those kids. The funny thing is, when Winston does something crazy, I will say, “Jaclyn, look what your son is doing.” When Winston, does something wonderful, I’ll say, “That’s my boy!” There’s nothing better than watching their personalities blossom and seeing what they find interesting or funny. I cannot wait to see the trail they blaze.

Overcoming seasickness. For someone that loves fishing so much, it was horrible to suffer from a sickness that made me throw up repeatedly. Think about it, imagine if I barfed every time I played slow pitch softball or was watching an Eagles game, that would be horrible! I used to go out on the boat and throw up dozens of times on a single trip. I am not sure how I overcame it, I think I did it gradually, first by going in the fresh air of Lake Ontario, then in the Florida Keys, a couple quick tr
ips off the Outer Banks, and now I have been out on overnight trips 80 miles out. I used to dread the thought of going 3 miles out for Flounder, now I want to go out into the Gulf Stream for Tuna or Swordfish. I guess it really isn’t an accomplishment, more of a lesson that you’ll happily endure some crappy times when you’re in love with something or someone.

2 thoughts on “Gray Hairs

  1. i’m probably the best friend you have now that Dave is only interested in making synthesizers out of discarded coffee cans. I would say your other top accomplishments are knowing Regis and also Jared from Subway. It doesn’t get much better than that, life is good.


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