Pee Wee

Growing up, I was an enormous fan of Pee Wee Herman. As a grown man, I still quote from his movie, Pee Wee’s Big Adventure. I watched his show, I watched his movies, he really cracked me up.

One day in college at Bloomsburg University, there was a huge block party at the Sesame Street Apartments (since been demolished). It was a crazy party and I vaguely remember as the day progressed into night, furniture being piled up and being lit on fire, culminating in a good ol’ fashioned riot. This is not a story about the riot though, this is much, much earlier in the afternoon as I was seated on a little patch of grass, no doubt sipping on a Keystone Light beer in a bottle, enjoying the sun as the afternoon unfolded.

My friends and I were just relaxing when all of the sudden, like a mirage, a man dressed exactly as Pee Wee Herman walks right into the neighborhood, completely alone, not accompanied by friends. It was magnificent, I mean, he had the outfit, the haircut, even the pale complexion, for all I know, it was the real Pee Wee Herman. I jumped up, pointed at him like a sailor at sea seeing land for the first time in years, “Look, look, it is Pee Wee Herman!” Not surprisingly, no one in my group of friends shared the same level of enthusiasm, but it did not dampen my enthusiasm. I grabbed a cold Keystone Light, called out to him, “Hey Pee Wee, it is amazing to see you, would you like a beer?”

Pee Wee sauntered over to my spot on the grass, man, he even walked liked Pee Wee. He flashed a smile, nodded appreciatively, and received the beer from me. At this very instant, I felt remarkable. This wedged a tiny opening into a world of possibilities where me and Pee Wee Herman could be friends. I began to imagine the all the amazing angles of having Pee Wee Herman as a best friend when all of the sudden, Pee Wee did something crazy.

Pee Wee twisted off the metal cap of the beer bottle, reared back like Nolan Ryan pitching his famous fastball, and threw that bottle cap as hard as possible at a young lady’s head about 3 feet away from him. The woman screamed, Pee Wee did a perfect Pee Wee laugh, and walked away.

Goodness gracious, I went from hero to zero in an instant. I went from the man who got hysterical Pee Wee to join our group to the man who got unpredictably violent Pee Wee to join our group. The woman was okay, no cuts and fortunately it didn’t hit her eye, but nonetheless, she was not happy with me.

I guess this could have two possible lessons:

  1. Don’t ever, ever, trust Pee Wee Herman
  2. Perhaps, we should all consider what we “like”, “share”, and “follow” and be careful it does not lead to harm, because you don’t want to be the person who endorsed it

In any case, I want to make it clear that I had no involvement in the riots and have always did all that was possible to reduce the likelihood of police involvement of my activities. The riots were always instigated by dumb drunks, protesting nothing, who had false confidence that they could stand up to authority and were always crying when they were taken away in handcuffs.

With that being said, I have a lot to blog about and hope to get back into the swing of things over the next couple of weeks. Did you know Pee Wee Herman was in the original Blues Brothers movie as a waiter?

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July

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After last year’s adventure through Colorado and New Mexico, Jaclyn suggested that the 2017 vacation take a more relaxing angle and just head for the beach. We decided on Corolla, NC. Corolla is at the top of of the Outer Banks, a spit of land in the ocean that will probably underwater when all the ice melts in Antarctica. The r&r at the beach was exactly what the doctor ordered, we spent our days going to the beach in the morning, heading back to the pool at our house, going back to the beach in the late afternoon and enjoying a night swim in the pool before bed. If we were feeling very adventurous, we would head back to the beach with a sliver of light coming from the moon and chase “ghost” crabs all over the beach. I am sure the experience was equally exhilarating for the crabs and my family.

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Our house was on a sandy road which added to the adventure. At night if we left the lights on, bugs would circle around the lights and windows and eventually tree frogs would climb up the windows and doors and gobble up all the insects.

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Hundreds of years ago, boats traveling along the coast transporting people, goods, and horses would over get their boats stranded on this spit of land out in the ocean. In an effort to lighten the boat and get it off the bottom of the ocean, they would coerce horses to jump off the boat and into the ocean. Over the course of time, several of these horses made it to the Outer Banks and formed a rather large herd. As the land became more developed and roads were established, automobiles were more and more frequently crashing into and killing these beautiful creatures. In an effort to preserve the herd and perhaps lower auto insurance premiums, the horse herd was corralled just north of Corolla in an area with no roads, it is completely fenced in for the horses to live in about a 15 mile area. You are allowed to access this area by driving onto the beach. I have never driven my car on the beach before and had a lot of anxiety doing it. My dad has done it before, but my dad is a bad ass Vietnam Vet who can fix cars, make electrical repairs, and can easily back up a trailer (watching me back up a trailer is like watching a blind dyslexic person having a seizure while driving a car). So, I did a bunch of research about driving on the beach and our car is 4 wheel drive, I grabbed a local tow guy’s contact info in the event I screwed up, and gave it a chance. Amazingly, we made it onto the beach and saw the horses, it was majestic. I just loved driving on the beach with the windows down, pointing to things along the way (like a horseshoe crab) and feeling like a manly man for just a moment.

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We rode our bikes all over the place. The kids are getting somewhat proficient at bike riding and I’m only worried about them crashing into someone about 5% of the time now (about 4 weeks ago, it was about 75%). I discovered a little beer garden across the street, it was a ramshackle place that seemed to be constructed of fishing rods, car doors, driftwood, and various nautical equipment. I said to the bartender, “It must have taken the owner a long time to figure out how to pick out the right stuff to piece this place together so perfectly…or maybe he/she just gathered whatever they had laying around and just nailed it all together to make this place.” The bartender smiled and said he was pretty sure it was the latter.

We came home on Saturday, I still had Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday off due to the July 4th holiday. We went to the town’s local fireworks, here’s the grand finale.

 

June, June, June, June

I have been looking forward to June for a long time.

The beginning of June meant  a trip to Palm Beach with Jaclyn. It was a trip for work, but I had been begging her to come along as it is a very nice spot to be away from kids and dogs. Palm Beach is a lovely town, tropical, ocean, breezes, and lizards everywhere. The only problem with Palm Beach is that it is a fortune for anything, so we just sipped on strong drinks and snacked at the time melted all stress away. The lizards were very frightened of us at the beginning of the trip, but Jaclyn began establishing trust with them throughout the vacation and I consider myself lucky that we did not adopt a family of them to be new residents in our Pennsylvania home. We wanted to see an alligator and there was an Everglades park nearby, so we grabbed an Uber and had them drop us off at the swamp and we hiked along beautiful trails until we got stuck in a rain storm. Fortunately, there was a thatch hut with chairs underneath, I could have stayed in there watching the rain all day (video below).

Jaclyn looking beautiful at one of the less fancy Palm Beach establishments. A kid was sitting behind us with a helium balloon, a bird dive bombed the balloon and popped it, it scared the hell out of all of us.

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Later in June we head to the Outer Banks, without the dogs. We will be near the beach and have a little pool. I have created 3 playlists for the occasion: POP, Mellow Out, and Tiki. My daily routine will go something like this:

  1. Wake up early and hike far up the beach to try to find wildlife and cool shells
  2. Go back to pool and lay on float until I get unbearably hot, roll off float and submerge myself in pool water
  3. Mini golf
  4. Fishing at twilight
  5. Eat fresh seafood
  6. Rum
  7. Sleep
  8. Repeat

Rosie, Benny and I have been hiking when time permits, another neat location at Ohiopyle.

This weekend, the entire family went on a bike ride along a railroad track that has since been converted into a smooth flat trail for walking and bike riding. It is called the Great Allegheny Passage and it goes from Pittsburgh to Washington DC (189 miles), we just did 6 miles, 3 miles in each direction. It was extremely gratifying because it was something that the entire family enjoyed and the kids improved significantly throughout the day. In the beginning, Winston crashed his bike every 25 feet, but by the end of the day, he was passing people and showing off his marvelous dare devil skills of riding his bike with one hand. In most parts of Pittsburgh, the roads are incredibly steep and challenging for bike riding, this trail was perfect and I cannot wait to do it again. On our way back from the bike ride, we stopped at a hot dog shop and Winston started asking me all kinds of questions about blizzard in Arkansas, I had no idea what the heck he was talking about, he pointed at a newspaper on the wall and said it was in the newspaper…I doubt that was the article the hot dog shop owner wanted the customers to read about, but Winston filtered out everything else.

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Fancy Me, Not The Real Me

For Mother’s Day yesterday, the kid’s and I donned our nicest outfits, did our hair up nice, and took Jac to a fancy restaurant on Mount Washington overlooking Pittsburgh.

They made me proud by putting so much into making the day special for their Mom. They made special cards, picked up petit fours for her, helped her garden, and even behaved well in a fancy restaurant (which is tough for all of us!).

Winston wore a button down shirt, but underneath he was wearing a Pokemon shirt. He started to unbutton his shirt at the tail end of the meal and I told him to stop until we are outside the restaurant and across the street, then he can take off his fancy shirt. Winston replied, “Dad, the fancy me, is not the real me.” I am pretty sure that statement will always remain true for Winston, his appearance has never been much of a priority, he seems quite content in leisure wear. 97% of the time, Winston orders mac & cheese, chicken fingers, or pizza…fortunately, the fancy restaurant offered mac & cheese.

Dalia, on the other hand, wore a lovely dress and put her hair up nice and even applied her own makeup. I think she enjoys a little fancy now and then. Dalia is also much more adventurous from a culinary standpoint, over the weekend, I witnessed her try a free sushi sample at the grocery store, she tried some of Jaclyn’s Striped Bass at the fancy restaurant, and she ordered a frappuccino at Starbucks.

Jaclyn’s birthday is on Tuesday, if the weather cooperates, we will enjoy food from the grill on our back porch.

 

Baseball

I know you are tired of hearing it, but work has been busy lately. So when an opportunity came along to go to an offsite meeting in Pittsburgh, I enthusiastically volunteered to get some time out of the office. Unfortunately, my scheme backfired and I ended up being there from 8AM to 9PM. After a long day in a hotel ballroom, I got in my car and headed home. I tuned my radio to the Pittsburgh Pirates baseball game and the game was very one-sided by the time I turned it on.

It is hard to explain, but I love listening to baseball broadcasters in games that are out of hand. You hear their attention drifting over to the clumsy mascot spilling popcorn into an unsuspecting fan, the prank involving a blown up bubble gum bubble being placed onto a fellow ball player’ s hat in the dugout, one of the most glorious events is when the losing team has used up all of their pitchers and has to rely on a non-pitcher to finish the game. Jose Canseco famously injured himself as a late inning blowout relief pitcher.

The game I was listening to featured a pitcher coming into the game in the seventh inning and his team was down by 8 runs. You could tell that there were very few fans left in the stadium as you could hear only like 4 or 5 people talking in the stands versus the normal chatter of thousands of spectators. The pitcher retired the first couple of batters, but then proceeded to throw 8 or 9 consecutive balls. Many of the pitches were so far off the plate the catcher couldn’t even catch it and the ball rolled all the way to the backstop. When the pitcher finally threw a strike, the 4 or 5 fans went berserk and obnoxiously celebrated the simple feat.

I am sure millions of people would switch places with that major league pitcher, but I am sure he wouldn’t have minded being someone else that night.

On a separate note, I said to Winston: great news, it is May! You know that April showers bring May flowers, it will be great to see those flowers!

Winston said: sure dad, but what do May flowers bring?

me: Dunno?!

Winston: pilgrims.

 

Inconsistent

IMG_0878Savannah was a charming city, but didn’t see, taste, or hear anything that required for me to go back. Maybe I missed something. The sign below was from a restaurant in Savannah that I did not go inside, but I love this big neon signs.  IMG_0881

We saw Dan TDM with Winston and Dalia over Easter weekend. It wasn’t my cup of tea, but I loved hearing how excited the kids were, the audience of kids between 5-12 were absolutely insane for this show.

IMG_0893I recently had my 1 year check up at the University of Penn (post kidney donation). I got a hotel the night before so I did not need to drive into Philly and fight traffic right before my appointment. The room had a giant bathtub, I took this photo from the bathtub. The appointment went very well, all is good in the hood.IMG_0899

The day after my kidney appointment was record store day. I found a store in Philadelphia and waited in line for the store to open. I got Thelonious Monk, Bruce Springsteen, and Luna. IMG_0913

My man cave is shaping up nicely. I have been hanging on to all my hotel key cards since 2009 and have put them over an old table and applied varnish over it. A lot of good memories when I look at those cards. Try to find Yoda in the picture below.

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Winston asked if I wanted a brownie, this is what he gave me when I said “yes”. IMG_0918

My parents gave me an awesome growler that looks like a miniature keg. I got it filled with Jailbreak from Spoonwood Brewing Company. It is an Irish dark beer that was very smooth.IMG_0919

The Hot 8 Brass Band, my recording. Saw these guys in Philly on the same day as my kidney appointment.

Here is a much more polished video, what a group and what a concert, everybody was sweaty by the end!